Because sometimes it's a freak show ...

I like to people watch.  It's fun.  But have you ever people watched at the beach?  Lord have mercy, it's a freak show.

Not discounting myself, y'all.  I'm a cow, for real.  I've had 5 kids and eat like I'm still 16.  And it shows.  Me in a swimsuit is like a beached manatee.  For real.  So don't think I'm saying I'm all that.  Heck no.

But the people who go to the beach are just odd.  Of course there are the gorgeous, skinny, 16-26 yr old crowd.  They are amazing, perfectly tan, and make up about 15% of the people you see on any day.

The rest?  Oh, honey.  There's the kid whose mama don't know that diapers are NOT waterproof.  The poor guy is waddling around with 15 lbs of ocean water and sand.  Then there's the opposite kid.  The one running naked everywhere because "swimsuits are for older kids and grown-ups".  Okay, but hello? Sunburn?

Then there's the girl who HAD to have the new trendy string bikini, but like me, has had a bajillion kids and well ... we're just not the string bikini type.  We're the swim dress from the 1920s type.  For real.  Mumu style.

There's always the guy in the speedo who obviously doesn't understand that the Speedo shouldn't disappear under his beer gut *vomit*.  And the guy from Lilo and Stitch.  I saw him, y'all. For real.  I almost went to ask for his autograph. For real.  I mean, he had obviously already eaten his ice cream, but it was him.  And his whole family.  I didn't even take a picture.  Should have.

Then there's the straight up white trash.  The ones who, even though the ENTIRE FLIPPING BEACH is empty, they put their stuff down RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.  And light there cigarettes. And pull out their Boone's.  And get out their snazzy rebel flag wave board to go with the awesome string bikini the mom is wearing.  And they all look like crystal meth addicts on a good day.  And of course they proceed to talk as loudly as possible and they are as ignorant as possible. "Good thing there ain't no blacks or gays on this beach." Yeah.  And all sorts of other things that I won't even type, because I believe ignorance is contagious.  (It is, BTW. Ignorant behavior is contagious and easily taught.  All it takes is one ignorant person in the vicinity of some relatively not stupid people and BAM it goes through a crowd like stupid quick).

Anyway, it's a freak show.  And this freak joined right on in with my 5 kids (are they ALL hers, you think?!? They must be Mormon.  Or Catholic.  Holy cow, that's just a lot of kids).  Because sometimes you just bring the freak show.